How to Self-Advocate
- Don’t get mad – get passionate
- You don’t have to do it alone – take a friend (or three)
- Compromise is necessary – decide what is negotiable and what is not
- Choose your team. Often, we’ll speak up for someone else before we will speak up for ourselves – be a good manager, ask someone else to speak up for you if you can’t do it yourself – that’s still self-advocacy – you’re in charge – you choose who to help you.
- Rehearse what you want to say ahead of time, role-play with someone
- Fake it till you make it
- Figure out your strength or the role you’re comfortable with (i.e., go with someone else when they advocate first)
- Keep to the truth – don’t make things up – you need to be believable
- Take a tape recorder if you’re feeling intimidated or scared – you can tape the conversation, but make sure they know they’re being taped
- Know your issue
- Don’t worry about knowing everything – it’s OK to say, “I don’t know either – let me look into that and get back to you.” Then do it, get help if you need to.
Start with:
- Something small
- Something you care about
- Family and friends — who may be the easiest or the hardest
- Just start
When dealing with people:
- Ask for their name
- Ask for their supervisor’s name
- Write it down
- Write it down in front of them if possible, so they know you are keeping track
Keep a diary of your actions:
- Names
- Dates
- What you asked for
- What they said they would do – and by what date
- Or what they did to you that was inappropriate
Use basic assertiveness skills:
- Acknowledge their point of view
- State your own case
- Keep to the facts
- Don’t make it personal – keep to the issue
- Avoid name calling
- Use the “broken record” assertiveness technique – keep repeating what you want
- Avoid using “but”, and use “and” instead
How to handle verbal attacks or scary advocacy situations:
These are suggestions from experienced self–advocates, representing a variety of personality styles
- Stand your ground
- Stay calm, talk softer, listen to their storm, let them wind down
- Keep to the facts
- Judge who you’re dealing with – different strokes for different folks
- If you are worried or afraid to meet with someone for fear of attack:
- Take someone with you
- Bring a tape recorder
- Take notes
- Remember you’re as valuable as they are
- Follow-up with action later (i.e., write a letter, do what you said you would, etc.)
Trainings in self-advocacy for persons with developmental disabilities
Self-advocacy skills for people with developmental disabilities are very important. We provide free training which encourages people with developmental disabilities to speak up so they can make more life choices.
